I really have no idea of what I am doing with my life. Everything is a fucking mess. I just can't handle anymore.

I coming to a point where I really don't care if I die or not. I'm really giving up and this is pretty much sad. I'm even worried. Cuz I normly worried too much about life and stuffs, but it not like this anymore. I'm just surviving, I'm not living. I can't handle the people around me. Everything I do and try to do goes wron. I'm always ALWAYS anxious. I'm always liking people in secret and then doing nothing. And then suddenly everything is gone and I'm feeling confident again and all stuffs.

I just CAN'T understand me, really. LIKE I CAN'T.

And I'm running away from my problems and being anxious about it. I have to face it. FACE IT.

But I'm weak. I'm very very weak! Like, very. And it's a shit.

I'll post like this cuz I'm just so so so tired so so so tired and confused and cold and crying.

I should stop, stop all of this. Stop caring, stop being anxious.

I hope I can.


Mari.