CHANGE!

I decided that YES, I'm gonna change.
2014 is gonna be the year where I'M GONNA CHANGE.
Enough of complaining, I'll CHANGE. And it's gonna be something good. I'm gonna be a new person, without losing the real me.
I'm gonna live out of this world called internet and change everything I want. I'M GONNA BE HAPPY.

Lists of accomplishments:

- Loose at least 7 kg.
- Take care of my health (I really need this)
- Stop with the DAMN panic attacks FOR GOOD. (AND I MEAN IT)
- Stop being lazy
- Go to my first trip abroad WITHOUT MY MOM
- Start loving myself (so other people can love me too)
- Stop being so stressed
- Keep on reading the way I was in the end of last year (this I'll sure do)
- Get THAT Disney job (if I can stop the panic attacks, of course)
- study korean (the classes are not that easy)
- DANCE MY HEART OUT!
- be happy

I think this is it. Now I just need to DO IT.

I intend to do ALL of this, but if I get ONLY 2 (take care of my health and mental health aka panic attacks) I'LL BE DAMN HAPPY.

LET'SDOTHISSSSSSSSSSSS

2014 YOU CAN COME CUZ I'M FUCKING READY FOR YOU.

One year ago

Dels, como o tempo passa rápido!!

Há um ano, eu estava realizando o meu sonho mais antigo e o maior sonho de todos (acho). Aquele sonho que vc tem desde criança. Pois é, eu estava no lugar mais mágico da terra, sendo a pessoa mais feliz.
Disney.
Muito obrigada a seja lá quem for que reina esse mundão por me dar essa oportunidade.
Uma viagem que eu nunca vou esquecer. A primeira de muitas que estão por vir.

(to be continue)

I see I have to change

But how??

I tried to promise myself I'd stop being depressed and do something against it.
I can see I have to change, but how exactly????

I promised myself that this year would be different, but... how? I just can't, you know..

I promised I wouldn't cry anymore, but here I am.

Gosh, this is sooooo complicated. I just wanna give up. But at the same time, there's something that holds me back, and I don't even know what it is.

I just know this is pretty much difficult and... I'm just tired.

I can't live one more year this way.

I just hope someone has mercy on me and make this change. Cuz I can't stand it.

01 de Janeiro de 2014.

Well, here I go again. One more year to write something to your birthday.

I can easily say you were the best thing that happened in my life. You helped me when I thought everything was lost, you showed me the best side of me, something I wasn't aware of. You showed me I can live my dream, that I can do whatever I want. I just need to go for it. I'm sure I already wrote it to you in all my previous letters, I'm sure  of it.
But this time is a little bit different.

Last year (2013) I made my biggest dream come true.
I saw you with my own eyes, in front of me, singing, dancing, showing all your love toward us. I saw you in my country (Brazil), something I thought was impossible to happen. I finally saw you!
And this changed my life!

After April 21th 2013 I changed, to better! You made me be this way. I could open my eyes saying "I made my biggest (and most impossible) dream come true" and this simple sentence had an incredible power over me.

So, I'm here again to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEE SUNGMIN!
29 (28) years making this world a better place :)

You are amazing, you were born to shine and make people happy. As I said before, you were the best thing that happened to me.

I'll always be there for you, so you can expect a lot more letters to your next birthdays!  hahaha~ I'll be always an ELF and a Vitamin. With all my heart!

사랑합니다 and 감사합니다 for everything!

 Thank you, your always Vitamin.

 Mariana.(@mindokyu)