just something I wrote today at work.

I’m really getting bored! And I’m soooo confused with what I’m going to do with my life. Like… I don’t know if I’m on the right way or not. I’m really confused.
I see people doing things they like and being successful and all…
I’m just not 100% happy, you know. I wish I can be happy the most I can. But it’s not easy. And when things start being this difficult, it’s not that cool. I just wanna do something I really like in life, having time to work, to have fun and to myself.
Other thing I want is to have someone to share my thoughts. I’m not so far to have a breakdown, you know.
It’s not good to be lonely. And I’ve always been. Nobody never loved me, or cared about me, in a lovely way of speaking. It’s starting getting on my nerves. All the time I see people walking around with their boyfriends and girlfriends, but me! It’s everywhere!!! Like life wants to throw all of it on my face.
And, even though all of it, I have to smile to everyone, saying I’m okay. I lie about it every single day! I’m actually tires of lying.
I’m tired of being the weirdo in a group of people.
I’m tired of having only a piece of paper (or a blog) to let all of my thoughts and feelings go.
I’m tired of people thinking about me as the freaky girl, who doesn’t like to interact much with people.
I do not like to interact with people that much, but this is for another post.
I’m tired of being lonely, ugly and fat. The girl that no guys look at, that none of them would think about love.
I just want to be normal. Is that asking much??
Every time I look at the mirror I’m sure that none would love someone like me. I mean… I’m pretty cool, a little bit depressed, but cool!! But… My looks… Not that good, and I don’t have any strength to change it. I need some one to change it in me.
Which I’m sure will never come to my way.