Tired... again.

And here I am again... and probably won't be the last time I'll come here complaining. Because... LIFE? WTF ARE YOU DOING?? Like... argh, I don't even know what to say. Like RLY? Make me suffer this way?

My US bands were not enough to make me suffer, were they?? No. and now, besides I suffer from the same things, I suffer cuz I don't understand a SHIT what they are saying and because the fucking cultures are just so different we can even.... AH... I give up of this fangirl life!!

Please, I just can't be a fangirl anymore... I just... argh, it's so much suffering... You love somebody with all of you, with all you got and... AND NOTHING HAPPENS! FUCKING NOTHING!
At least american bands answer the fucking tweet you send them.

I think I'm gonna go back to my US bands... I was happy and had no clue! But now I have a BIG clue that I was happy. This shitty kpop is just bringing me unhappiness! D:

Exaggerating, but fuck it. It's true


and here. I didn't finish. Cuz today I'm so so so so so fucking angry with life that... argh.

Other part of my dilemma...

I'm not good in any fucking thing! I don't know how to dance, I don't know how to sing, I don't know how to write, I don't know how to drawn, and... these are all the fucking things I'd like to do in life BUT NO. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO ANY OF THESE FUCKERIES. SO...

ARGH... I just... give up of trying and I'll just live life normally, and... fuck all the rest.
I don't need friends, I don't need anything else to live. Just live, I don't wanna have fun. I just wanna exist. just

And for fuck' sakes. I'M FUCKING UGLY AND THIS IS JUST AN ADD TO ALL THE SHIT MY LIFE IS.

Argh shit.

See, this is my life and this shit is a mess! I really need help

right in the feels

I have so many things to say, but I have no idea where to start...

If I am happy? Yes, I am... But each day that goes by I'm sure this dream is so so far away. And this feeling is so big, like never before. And, maybe, because of this, this fear of "never get it" catch me every single day.

But, I'm happy, and proud, and feeling the most amazing feeling ever. Even if nobody understands, I do. So that's the most important. Just to see this video, I can feel like... aish, I can feel so many things that words are not enough.

But one thing I'm sure... I'm gonna do whatever it needs to get there, just to look at them once.

Just being the best fandom of all to know how it is

Well.. since 9 years old I'm a fangirl!

It started with Backstreet Boys! Oh dear, look... A boy band! It looks like I was designated to this kind of things, and I'm so happy and so proud of being this way.
So... now I'm 21 years old. 12 years after and I see me in such a similar situation. And I love it. Each day I love more and more.

I'm such a fangirl since that age and I loved so many bands. Yes... like Green Day, Simple Plan, The Rocket Summer (which is one of my heros) and I love them. So so much it hurts, but... The feeling I'm now is different.
From all the bands I loved this is the biggest feeling of all. I think I reach the top of love for a group. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to love this way again.

July 3th. It was my first time being together in a comeback. And the feeling was SO good. I felt completed and happy. I cried, I laugh, I smiled a thousand times. Of course I'm a baby elf... 7 months of living. But I can assure you... These were the best 7 months of my life.

So thank you for giving me one more reason to smile, to laugh, to try to reach something in my life.
Thank you for showing me I can do everything I want. Thank you for teaching me being the way I am. Thank you for teaching me be more girly (LOL so true) Thank you for teaching me the real meaning of love. For giving me the best friends I could have.

Thank you.