Oh, I almost couldn't get here... But here I am. (try to forget about what I said yesterday)
First of all, Happy Birthday Bryce Avary!! You are one of the most amazing people I've ever met. I love you and I think I couldn't be where I am now if it weren't you. So thank you.
You are turning 30 years old now and I'm so so so glad to have you in my life, even if is not personally. I have you in my heart, and it's this that matters!
I love you, My Hero.
-x-
E que venha 2013, com a minha viagem do sonho! Daqui 9 diazinhos eu estarei no lugar mais maravilhoso da terra, Disney! HERE I GO...
Tenho várias coisas pra falar, mas vou deixar pro primeiro dia do ano... For now eu só tenho que agradecer por cada pessoa que fez desse meu ano de 2012 muuuuuuuuuuito especial. Amo todos vocês.
E como eu já disse... QUE VENHA 2013 PORRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~
31 de dezembro de 2012
30 de dezembro de 2012
Not good
Not good me bitching in this time of the year, but here I go. (it's me anyway, I have to bitch around)
So, no worries, on Jan first I'll be here, not to complain, I hope.
Well, the shit in this life is that, I'm kinda bossy and if I'm not involved in something, I back off immediately. I just can't pretend I'm nor mad, cuz I'm really mad. I hate being not involved and it seems like people don't want me around. YES, STOP LYING SAYING THAT I'M IMPORTANT, cuz no... I'm not.
I already made what I've promised, I sticked till where I promised so I'm not that mean. But I feel like I don't belong together to this team anymore. I think I'll just abandon the boat.
"One does not abandon the boat" Yes, I said it yesterday, but seems like people are throwing me out of the boat, so I feel like getting out.
Not that I'm happy about it, cuz it really hurts so much to say it, and to think about it.
The (I think) the problem is with me... I... I don't like people minding my business and when too much people start stick together and NOT SO MUCH IS DONE I just feel like giving up... So, even if it's not an easy decision, I still thinking about it. But I just give in... I don't even say give up because, as I said, I didn't give up, people made me give in.
I just don't want to be in this not being in this... you know what I mean?? And the shit is going on and everything I hear is silence... SO... As I think I'm the problematic one, giving others a hard time, I think I should be out of the way... Yes, I think I'll be out of the way... It's better, I won't feel like a burden.
But, I know I just couldn't be OVERREACTING (take that note, this is my word) because, as I said, there are LOTS of people in it and not everybody is doing... Even one there took a place which I think others deserve... and she took it, AND SHE'S DOING NOTHING... As far as I know, cuz people actually don't tell me a thing so...
Well, I think I'm feeling better now, my blog always saves me, thank you my baby baby.
Oh, one more thing... the gift thing, I'm already out of hope, so many efforts and still nothing... STILL, calm down, maybe it can work, but... Okay, whatever.
So, no worries, on Jan first I'll be here, not to complain, I hope.
Well, the shit in this life is that, I'm kinda bossy and if I'm not involved in something, I back off immediately. I just can't pretend I'm nor mad, cuz I'm really mad. I hate being not involved and it seems like people don't want me around. YES, STOP LYING SAYING THAT I'M IMPORTANT, cuz no... I'm not.
I already made what I've promised, I sticked till where I promised so I'm not that mean. But I feel like I don't belong together to this team anymore. I think I'll just abandon the boat.
"One does not abandon the boat" Yes, I said it yesterday, but seems like people are throwing me out of the boat, so I feel like getting out.
Not that I'm happy about it, cuz it really hurts so much to say it, and to think about it.
The (I think) the problem is with me... I... I don't like people minding my business and when too much people start stick together and NOT SO MUCH IS DONE I just feel like giving up... So, even if it's not an easy decision, I still thinking about it. But I just give in... I don't even say give up because, as I said, I didn't give up, people made me give in.
I just don't want to be in this not being in this... you know what I mean?? And the shit is going on and everything I hear is silence... SO... As I think I'm the problematic one, giving others a hard time, I think I should be out of the way... Yes, I think I'll be out of the way... It's better, I won't feel like a burden.
But, I know I just couldn't be OVERREACTING (take that note, this is my word) because, as I said, there are LOTS of people in it and not everybody is doing... Even one there took a place which I think others deserve... and she took it, AND SHE'S DOING NOTHING... As far as I know, cuz people actually don't tell me a thing so...
Well, I think I'm feeling better now, my blog always saves me, thank you my baby baby.
Oh, one more thing... the gift thing, I'm already out of hope, so many efforts and still nothing... STILL, calm down, maybe it can work, but... Okay, whatever.
17 de dezembro de 2012
Revolta me define.
Olha... quanta decepção em menos de uma semana! Gente do céu, como pode?? Só sei que eu to a ponto de matar um (simbolicamente, claro).
Primeiro, vamos começar com o que mais me deixou revoltada, lógico.
- Ukiss não vem mais.
MEU, SÉRIO... ENFIA UMA BOMBA NO CU DE QUEM CANCELOU, por favor? Sério, é a terceira vez em menos de seis meses que essa merda acontece, só que dessa vez foi a pior de todas. Falam que vai ter, fecha tudo, o povo compra tudo os ingressos, pessoas que moram longe de São Paulo compram tudo e deixam tudo pronto. PRA QUÊ??? PRA DAR UMA DE BRASIL E CANCELAR! (ou seja, dar errado).
Tá que estão falando que a culpa não é da empresa aqui do Brasil e sim a empresa que está trazendo lá da Coréia, mas, na minha possição de Kiss Me eu to pouco me fodendo de quem é a culpa. Eu só quero um pouquinho de consideração com os 700 fãs que já tinham comprado o ingresso e que esperavam muito por isso.
OU SEJA (reusmo da ópera): NÃO DA PRA CONFIAR EM SHOWS DE K-POP nessa merda de lugar. Não dá, porque quando fazem merda uma vez, beleza; duas vezes, ai já começamos a pensar; na terceira, a gente desiste.
- Tá, vamos para o outro tópico que é bem ligado com essa última frase ali em cima. Isso, ali mesmo onde eu acabei de escrever.
Eu sou uma ótima amiga, faço tudo o que está ao meu alcançe para que meus amigos sejam felizes e tudo mais. Mas... Pisou na bola comigo uma... Duas... Três vezes e assim por diante, é pra querer me deixar com muita raiva.
E no mesmo dia que a bomba do Ukiss estourou, provaram pra mim que só eu estava sendo amiga, mas olha que lindo.
E... Uma vez que a amizade acaba, pra mim, é pra sempre. Lembrem-se disso.
Primeiro, vamos começar com o que mais me deixou revoltada, lógico.
- Ukiss não vem mais.
MEU, SÉRIO... ENFIA UMA BOMBA NO CU DE QUEM CANCELOU, por favor? Sério, é a terceira vez em menos de seis meses que essa merda acontece, só que dessa vez foi a pior de todas. Falam que vai ter, fecha tudo, o povo compra tudo os ingressos, pessoas que moram longe de São Paulo compram tudo e deixam tudo pronto. PRA QUÊ??? PRA DAR UMA DE BRASIL E CANCELAR! (ou seja, dar errado).
Tá que estão falando que a culpa não é da empresa aqui do Brasil e sim a empresa que está trazendo lá da Coréia, mas, na minha possição de Kiss Me eu to pouco me fodendo de quem é a culpa. Eu só quero um pouquinho de consideração com os 700 fãs que já tinham comprado o ingresso e que esperavam muito por isso.
OU SEJA (reusmo da ópera): NÃO DA PRA CONFIAR EM SHOWS DE K-POP nessa merda de lugar. Não dá, porque quando fazem merda uma vez, beleza; duas vezes, ai já começamos a pensar; na terceira, a gente desiste.
- Tá, vamos para o outro tópico que é bem ligado com essa última frase ali em cima. Isso, ali mesmo onde eu acabei de escrever.
Eu sou uma ótima amiga, faço tudo o que está ao meu alcançe para que meus amigos sejam felizes e tudo mais. Mas... Pisou na bola comigo uma... Duas... Três vezes e assim por diante, é pra querer me deixar com muita raiva.
E no mesmo dia que a bomba do Ukiss estourou, provaram pra mim que só eu estava sendo amiga, mas olha que lindo.
E... Uma vez que a amizade acaba, pra mim, é pra sempre. Lembrem-se disso.
2 de dezembro de 2012
One year!!
Eu quase esqueci de vir aqui! Oh dear, eu ia querer me bater muito se eu esquecesse! SÉRIO.
Um dia tão importante quanto esse não pode se esquecido nunca! Mas vamos lá!
Faz um ano que eu descobri a melhor coisa do mundo, a coisa que, pra mim, mudaria tudo. Mudaria totalmente o meu ponto de vista sobre muitas coisas. Eu voltaria a ser eu mesma, aquela pessoa que eu pensei ter se perdido em um passado bem distante! Mas, graças a minha amiga Helen, eu pude ser eu mesma de volta!
Para muitos, tudo isso que eu to falando e falarei é exagerado. Mas se vocês realmente soubessem o quanto isso me ajudou, nunca mais pensariam desse jeito.
Assim que conheci k-pop eu voltei a ser eu mesam. Voltei a ser quem eu amava ser e tinha esquecido por vários problemas. K-pop é mais do que um simples estilo músical que muitos acham mais do que estranho. É, realmente, a melhor coisa que já aconteceu na minha vida.
O quanto eu mudei depois do dia 02/12/11 foi incrível. Só quem realmente estava comigo para saber. Eu aprendi a amar, de um jeito mis forte do que eu estava acostumada, um jeito novo. Eu mudei. Meus medos começaram a sumir e eu percebi que poderia ser eu mesma, não importando idade ou qualquer coisa que fosse. Eu voltei a sonhar, e me curei do meu passado que me assombrava (sim, tive problemas no passado, mas não quero comentar isso aqui). Como eu disse para algumas pessoas, eu voltei a viver.
Foi esse video aqui que me fez perceber o que eu realmente amaria dali pra frente.
Depois desse video, eu mudei. E conheci somente a melhor banda do mundo com as melhores pessoas que eu poderia querer conhecer na vida. Fiz amigos novos, re-fiz alguns que tinha me separado por infelicidade do destino. Fui bem mais feliz do que era. Desfiz de algumas amizades que... Realmente, não sei se seriam tão boas quanto as novas. NOVIDADE, era disso que eu precisava na minha vida. EU PRECISAVA MUDAR, e eles tornaram tudo isso possível.
Bom, nesse dia eu percebi que seria devota desses garotos pelo resto da vida. Mas, foi somente com esse outro video (vide abaixo) que eu realmente achei alguém para amar.
Depois desse video eu pensei: "Como COMO como pode existir alguém assim nesse mundo?" Claro depois de muito surtar com AWNNNNNSSS incrívelmente altos. Helen estava do meu lado surtando, porque foi exatamente no dia em que fomos no show do UCube!
Sim, uma semana depois de conhecer o melhor estilo músical ever, eu fui a um show! LOL Sim, mariana sendo mariana.
Bom, foi nesse video que eu realmente achei alguém para amar, como disse antes, e percebi que ele salvaria a minha vida, como vem provando há algum tempo já! Bom, Lee Sungmin foi o meu escolhido para amar e apoiar pelo resto da minha vida. E foi a melhor escolha ever. Sim, a melhor escolha.
Vocês não tem noção do quão feliz eu sou por ser uma ELF, e mais... Por ser uma Vitamin. Sério, melhor coisa que aconteceu na minha vida. Eu voltei a viver, voltei a ter vontade de viver e apagar os pesadelos que super me atormentavam antes.
Se eu conseguir qualquer coisa nessa vida, certeza que metade da "culpa" será desses meninos, e principalmente do meu Minnie min.
Hum... Não tenho muito mais o que falar, só que eu sou grata a qualquer força superior por colocar essas pessoas no meu caminho, pois com eles eu sei que consigo ser quem eu realmente quero ser e conseguir realizar todos os meus sonhos.
E aqui vai o video do meu primeiro show k-pop.
Um dia tão importante quanto esse não pode se esquecido nunca! Mas vamos lá!
Faz um ano que eu descobri a melhor coisa do mundo, a coisa que, pra mim, mudaria tudo. Mudaria totalmente o meu ponto de vista sobre muitas coisas. Eu voltaria a ser eu mesma, aquela pessoa que eu pensei ter se perdido em um passado bem distante! Mas, graças a minha amiga Helen, eu pude ser eu mesma de volta!
Para muitos, tudo isso que eu to falando e falarei é exagerado. Mas se vocês realmente soubessem o quanto isso me ajudou, nunca mais pensariam desse jeito.
Assim que conheci k-pop eu voltei a ser eu mesam. Voltei a ser quem eu amava ser e tinha esquecido por vários problemas. K-pop é mais do que um simples estilo músical que muitos acham mais do que estranho. É, realmente, a melhor coisa que já aconteceu na minha vida.
O quanto eu mudei depois do dia 02/12/11 foi incrível. Só quem realmente estava comigo para saber. Eu aprendi a amar, de um jeito mis forte do que eu estava acostumada, um jeito novo. Eu mudei. Meus medos começaram a sumir e eu percebi que poderia ser eu mesma, não importando idade ou qualquer coisa que fosse. Eu voltei a sonhar, e me curei do meu passado que me assombrava (sim, tive problemas no passado, mas não quero comentar isso aqui). Como eu disse para algumas pessoas, eu voltei a viver.
Foi esse video aqui que me fez perceber o que eu realmente amaria dali pra frente.
Depois desse video, eu mudei. E conheci somente a melhor banda do mundo com as melhores pessoas que eu poderia querer conhecer na vida. Fiz amigos novos, re-fiz alguns que tinha me separado por infelicidade do destino. Fui bem mais feliz do que era. Desfiz de algumas amizades que... Realmente, não sei se seriam tão boas quanto as novas. NOVIDADE, era disso que eu precisava na minha vida. EU PRECISAVA MUDAR, e eles tornaram tudo isso possível.
Bom, nesse dia eu percebi que seria devota desses garotos pelo resto da vida. Mas, foi somente com esse outro video (vide abaixo) que eu realmente achei alguém para amar.
Sim, uma semana depois de conhecer o melhor estilo músical ever, eu fui a um show! LOL Sim, mariana sendo mariana.
Bom, foi nesse video que eu realmente achei alguém para amar, como disse antes, e percebi que ele salvaria a minha vida, como vem provando há algum tempo já! Bom, Lee Sungmin foi o meu escolhido para amar e apoiar pelo resto da minha vida. E foi a melhor escolha ever. Sim, a melhor escolha.
Vocês não tem noção do quão feliz eu sou por ser uma ELF, e mais... Por ser uma Vitamin. Sério, melhor coisa que aconteceu na minha vida. Eu voltei a viver, voltei a ter vontade de viver e apagar os pesadelos que super me atormentavam antes.
Se eu conseguir qualquer coisa nessa vida, certeza que metade da "culpa" será desses meninos, e principalmente do meu Minnie min.
Hum... Não tenho muito mais o que falar, só que eu sou grata a qualquer força superior por colocar essas pessoas no meu caminho, pois com eles eu sei que consigo ser quem eu realmente quero ser e conseguir realizar todos os meus sonhos.
E aqui vai o video do meu primeiro show k-pop.
E QUE VENHA UKISS ASIUDHIUAHSUDIHAUIHDIUHDUIH
30 de novembro de 2012
Letter :3
Hey, SungMin.
How’s going? I hope fine, because today is your birthday, you must be happy. Okay, not today is your birthday, depending on the day you’re reading it, but you got my ideia
So, let’s start this letter, that may be really bad, but it was written with love.
First of all, Happy Birthday! Oh dear, look how you are growing old and healthy and beautiful, and even all this you look like a child. 28 years old and a child. Only you, Lee SungMin. And this is what I love the most in your personality. So, keep on this way and be always true to yourself and we will love and support you forever and always.
Maybe you can’t understand the feeling that we, your Vitamins, feel for you. Lots of people don’t get it, and sometimes even I don’t understand it either. But I feel it, and I know it’s really powerful and awesome. I feel blessed, actualy. We can know when a love is true when this love can save us. Like you did with me. Like this love did with me.
You saved me.
You saved me from the darkness I was living, and now I can be myself again. I can live again and I’m so thankful to you, you have no idea. I don’t think I’ll be able to tell everything I suffered in this letter, but maybe in another time, who knows? Because my dream can come truth one day, and this dream is like… To talk to you for a whole day… Just talk. Strange, right? But you must be a cool person to talk to. So go fast to learn how to speak English properly so we can talk all day long. (kidding)
So… I think this letter is getting to an end… Or maybe, an AND
I love you and I’ll ever love you, doesn’t matter what happen. Even when I grow old and get maried and have kids (aigo~) I’ll remember that you helped me trough the hardest moment in my life.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
How’s going? I hope fine, because today is your birthday, you must be happy. Okay, not today is your birthday, depending on the day you’re reading it, but you got my ideia
So, let’s start this letter, that may be really bad, but it was written with love.
First of all, Happy Birthday! Oh dear, look how you are growing old and healthy and beautiful, and even all this you look like a child. 28 years old and a child. Only you, Lee SungMin. And this is what I love the most in your personality. So, keep on this way and be always true to yourself and we will love and support you forever and always.
Maybe you can’t understand the feeling that we, your Vitamins, feel for you. Lots of people don’t get it, and sometimes even I don’t understand it either. But I feel it, and I know it’s really powerful and awesome. I feel blessed, actualy. We can know when a love is true when this love can save us. Like you did with me. Like this love did with me.
You saved me.
You saved me from the darkness I was living, and now I can be myself again. I can live again and I’m so thankful to you, you have no idea. I don’t think I’ll be able to tell everything I suffered in this letter, but maybe in another time, who knows? Because my dream can come truth one day, and this dream is like… To talk to you for a whole day… Just talk. Strange, right? But you must be a cool person to talk to. So go fast to learn how to speak English properly so we can talk all day long. (kidding)
So… I think this letter is getting to an end… Or maybe, an AND
I love you and I’ll ever love you, doesn’t matter what happen. Even when I grow old and get maried and have kids (aigo~) I’ll remember that you helped me trough the hardest moment in my life.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
20 de novembro de 2012
How can I?
I have no idea what happened, what happened for me being this way.
Really, it's been a time I've been trying to figure this out, to actually find out what the hell is going on and why I am this way.
I didn't see it coming, and I had no idea I'd be this way I am now.
How can a person change me this way? Nobody could do it before, and I liked many people before, but no... He's different, he has something different and I'm glad I met him in my life. I'm glad the destiny put him on my way, because now I have the need strength to go forward, to go for my dreams. And i know that if I fail, I'll try my best, because I want it to be real.
Because he's always with me, not by my side, but in a more special place. In my heart.
I cary him with me wherever I go. Everything I do, I do thinking about him, and it can sound creepy, but I think it's not, because it always leads me to good things! If it was something bad, he'd not be caring me to good things!
I changed, to better! He made me be this way, be myself and learn how to fight in this life. This life that sometimes can be so sad and cold. He warms me through it.
I'm proud of being his fan. I learned a lot from it and... I have no words to describe how my life changed after him. Really. It's... Amazing for words, and I think merely words can't describe such a feeling.
Everything in this guy amazes me.
His smile. His eyes. His nose. His lips... Those pouty lips I love being caught staring at them. His hair. His chubby shape. Oh I love when he is chubby! :3 I love the way he sings, the way he dances, the way he acts! I love every single thing about him. His voice. Oh his voice that always helps me to sleep when I need the most. When my worst nightmares scare the hell out of me, his voice calms me down.
Oh how I love him.
And then, I ask myself again... How can I love someone this much? Oh well, I think this is the purest love I've ever felt... And I'm sure I'll never feel something this big and this true.
I love you more than I've ever loved someone! I love you so so so much it hurts, but I know that if I get everything I want in life, a big part it's gonna be because you helped me.
Saranghae.
Really, it's been a time I've been trying to figure this out, to actually find out what the hell is going on and why I am this way.
I didn't see it coming, and I had no idea I'd be this way I am now.
How can a person change me this way? Nobody could do it before, and I liked many people before, but no... He's different, he has something different and I'm glad I met him in my life. I'm glad the destiny put him on my way, because now I have the need strength to go forward, to go for my dreams. And i know that if I fail, I'll try my best, because I want it to be real.
Because he's always with me, not by my side, but in a more special place. In my heart.
I cary him with me wherever I go. Everything I do, I do thinking about him, and it can sound creepy, but I think it's not, because it always leads me to good things! If it was something bad, he'd not be caring me to good things!
I changed, to better! He made me be this way, be myself and learn how to fight in this life. This life that sometimes can be so sad and cold. He warms me through it.
I'm proud of being his fan. I learned a lot from it and... I have no words to describe how my life changed after him. Really. It's... Amazing for words, and I think merely words can't describe such a feeling.
Everything in this guy amazes me.
His smile. His eyes. His nose. His lips... Those pouty lips I love being caught staring at them. His hair. His chubby shape. Oh I love when he is chubby! :3 I love the way he sings, the way he dances, the way he acts! I love every single thing about him. His voice. Oh his voice that always helps me to sleep when I need the most. When my worst nightmares scare the hell out of me, his voice calms me down.
Oh how I love him.
And then, I ask myself again... How can I love someone this much? Oh well, I think this is the purest love I've ever felt... And I'm sure I'll never feel something this big and this true.
I love you more than I've ever loved someone! I love you so so so much it hurts, but I know that if I get everything I want in life, a big part it's gonna be because you helped me.
Saranghae.
28 de outubro de 2012
People say that money is not important
And that's the biggest bullshit I've heard in a long time. Just saying...
With money you can be pretty, with money you can be healthy, with money you can have everything you want and THIS, my people, brings you happiness.
Or you don't want to be happy? NO. Oh okay, so you can keep with it, you're doing it right.
I'm tired of being poor... WAE WAE WAE?
fuck it
With money you can be pretty, with money you can be healthy, with money you can have everything you want and THIS, my people, brings you happiness.
Or you don't want to be happy? NO. Oh okay, so you can keep with it, you're doing it right.
I'm tired of being poor... WAE WAE WAE?
fuck it
30 de setembro de 2012
I have no idea
I really don't know what's going on with me.
Probably is just the workload that is too high, or maybe I'm just getting old, what really makes me get angry.
I'm so tired of somethings, and the worst part is that I love(d) doing these things. And now?? Now I can't barely stand thinking about it.
I think I'm missing my old self. Cuz me liking k-pop kinda made my old self get lost in some past tense. Not that I wanted, but it was natural, I couldn't stop, you know? But now I'm missing, but I can't miss enough to come back, but I can't continue this way either. What do I do?
I just don't wanna give up on things I love, and regret myself after a while. I wanna keep on with those things and be proud of myself when everything get right.
I just need a time for myself!
Probably is just the workload that is too high, or maybe I'm just getting old, what really makes me get angry.
I'm so tired of somethings, and the worst part is that I love(d) doing these things. And now?? Now I can't barely stand thinking about it.
I think I'm missing my old self. Cuz me liking k-pop kinda made my old self get lost in some past tense. Not that I wanted, but it was natural, I couldn't stop, you know? But now I'm missing, but I can't miss enough to come back, but I can't continue this way either. What do I do?
I just don't wanna give up on things I love, and regret myself after a while. I wanna keep on with those things and be proud of myself when everything get right.
I just need a time for myself!
11 de setembro de 2012
Not what I want
Hey.. I posted something here, but it wasn't what I really wanted to say. So here I am, trying again... So let's do it.
But not now, I'm so so lazy. xx
But not now, I'm so so lazy. xx
26 de julho de 2012
Tired... again.
And here I am again... and probably won't be the last time I'll come here complaining. Because... LIFE? WTF ARE YOU DOING?? Like... argh, I don't even know what to say. Like RLY? Make me suffer this way?
My US bands were not enough to make me suffer, were they?? No. and now, besides I suffer from the same things, I suffer cuz I don't understand a SHIT what they are saying and because the fucking cultures are just so different we can even.... AH... I give up of this fangirl life!!
Please, I just can't be a fangirl anymore... I just... argh, it's so much suffering... You love somebody with all of you, with all you got and... AND NOTHING HAPPENS! FUCKING NOTHING!
At least american bands answer the fucking tweet you send them.
I think I'm gonna go back to my US bands... I was happy and had no clue! But now I have a BIG clue that I was happy. This shitty kpop is just bringing me unhappiness! D:
Exaggerating, but fuck it. It's true
and here. I didn't finish. Cuz today I'm so so so so so fucking angry with life that... argh.
Other part of my dilemma...
I'm not good in any fucking thing! I don't know how to dance, I don't know how to sing, I don't know how to write, I don't know how to drawn, and... these are all the fucking things I'd like to do in life BUT NO. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO ANY OF THESE FUCKERIES. SO...
ARGH... I just... give up of trying and I'll just live life normally, and... fuck all the rest.
I don't need friends, I don't need anything else to live. Just live, I don't wanna have fun. I just wanna exist. just
And for fuck' sakes. I'M FUCKING UGLY AND THIS IS JUST AN ADD TO ALL THE SHIT MY LIFE IS.
Argh shit.
See, this is my life and this shit is a mess! I really need help
My US bands were not enough to make me suffer, were they?? No. and now, besides I suffer from the same things, I suffer cuz I don't understand a SHIT what they are saying and because the fucking cultures are just so different we can even.... AH... I give up of this fangirl life!!
Please, I just can't be a fangirl anymore... I just... argh, it's so much suffering... You love somebody with all of you, with all you got and... AND NOTHING HAPPENS! FUCKING NOTHING!
At least american bands answer the fucking tweet you send them.
I think I'm gonna go back to my US bands... I was happy and had no clue! But now I have a BIG clue that I was happy. This shitty kpop is just bringing me unhappiness! D:
Exaggerating, but fuck it. It's true
and here. I didn't finish. Cuz today I'm so so so so so fucking angry with life that... argh.
Other part of my dilemma...
I'm not good in any fucking thing! I don't know how to dance, I don't know how to sing, I don't know how to write, I don't know how to drawn, and... these are all the fucking things I'd like to do in life BUT NO. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO ANY OF THESE FUCKERIES. SO...
ARGH... I just... give up of trying and I'll just live life normally, and... fuck all the rest.
I don't need friends, I don't need anything else to live. Just live, I don't wanna have fun. I just wanna exist. just
And for fuck' sakes. I'M FUCKING UGLY AND THIS IS JUST AN ADD TO ALL THE SHIT MY LIFE IS.
Argh shit.
See, this is my life and this shit is a mess! I really need help
5 de julho de 2012
right in the feels
I have so many things to say, but I have no idea where to start...
If I am happy? Yes, I am... But each day that goes by I'm sure this dream is so so far away. And this feeling is so big, like never before. And, maybe, because of this, this fear of "never get it" catch me every single day.
But, I'm happy, and proud, and feeling the most amazing feeling ever. Even if nobody understands, I do. So that's the most important. Just to see this video, I can feel like... aish, I can feel so many things that words are not enough.
But one thing I'm sure... I'm gonna do whatever it needs to get there, just to look at them once.
If I am happy? Yes, I am... But each day that goes by I'm sure this dream is so so far away. And this feeling is so big, like never before. And, maybe, because of this, this fear of "never get it" catch me every single day.
But, I'm happy, and proud, and feeling the most amazing feeling ever. Even if nobody understands, I do. So that's the most important. Just to see this video, I can feel like... aish, I can feel so many things that words are not enough.
But one thing I'm sure... I'm gonna do whatever it needs to get there, just to look at them once.
3 de julho de 2012
Just being the best fandom of all to know how it is
Well.. since 9 years old I'm a fangirl!
It started with Backstreet Boys! Oh dear, look... A boy band! It looks like I was designated to this kind of things, and I'm so happy and so proud of being this way.
So... now I'm 21 years old. 12 years after and I see me in such a similar situation. And I love it. Each day I love more and more.
I'm such a fangirl since that age and I loved so many bands. Yes... like Green Day, Simple Plan, The Rocket Summer (which is one of my heros) and I love them. So so much it hurts, but... The feeling I'm now is different.
From all the bands I loved this is the biggest feeling of all. I think I reach the top of love for a group. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to love this way again.
July 3th. It was my first time being together in a comeback. And the feeling was SO good. I felt completed and happy. I cried, I laugh, I smiled a thousand times. Of course I'm a baby elf... 7 months of living. But I can assure you... These were the best 7 months of my life.
So thank you for giving me one more reason to smile, to laugh, to try to reach something in my life.
Thank you for showing me I can do everything I want. Thank you for teaching me being the way I am. Thank you for teaching me be more girly (LOL so true) Thank you for teaching me the real meaning of love. For giving me the best friends I could have.
Thank you.
It started with Backstreet Boys! Oh dear, look... A boy band! It looks like I was designated to this kind of things, and I'm so happy and so proud of being this way.
So... now I'm 21 years old. 12 years after and I see me in such a similar situation. And I love it. Each day I love more and more.
I'm such a fangirl since that age and I loved so many bands. Yes... like Green Day, Simple Plan, The Rocket Summer (which is one of my heros) and I love them. So so much it hurts, but... The feeling I'm now is different.
From all the bands I loved this is the biggest feeling of all. I think I reach the top of love for a group. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to love this way again.
July 3th. It was my first time being together in a comeback. And the feeling was SO good. I felt completed and happy. I cried, I laugh, I smiled a thousand times. Of course I'm a baby elf... 7 months of living. But I can assure you... These were the best 7 months of my life.
So thank you for giving me one more reason to smile, to laugh, to try to reach something in my life.
Thank you for showing me I can do everything I want. Thank you for teaching me being the way I am. Thank you for teaching me be more girly (LOL so true) Thank you for teaching me the real meaning of love. For giving me the best friends I could have.
Thank you.
3 de junho de 2012
Picture Perfect.
Everybody screams: you never gonna get there.
Somtimes I feel like life screams it on my face each day that goes by.
But when I listen to musics like this one, I think that sometimes there are a reason for all this shit happens, and I hope that this feeling is right and don't let me down.
Cuz I hate picture perfect, and I kinda agree with the following statement: If there's nothing wrong, how can it feel right?
So let's wait and see what life is preparing for us.
17 de maio de 2012
Kiddin'
Ás vezes eu acho que Deus está de brincadeira com a minha cara. Ás vezes eu acho que ele me testa todo fucking dia. Ás vezes eu chego até a duvidar da existência dele. Mas se ele realmente existe, ele não deve curtir muito a minha face.
Não que minha vida seja uma merda, porque eu sei que há piores. Mas a minha não é a das melhores, e por isso eu tenho certeza que ele ta de brinks comigo.
Espero que Ele tenha alguma surpresa boa pra mim em um futuro bem próximo.
Não que minha vida seja uma merda, porque eu sei que há piores. Mas a minha não é a das melhores, e por isso eu tenho certeza que ele ta de brinks comigo.
Espero que Ele tenha alguma surpresa boa pra mim em um futuro bem próximo.
26 de março de 2012
Life
If we are going to have a good life or not, is our "base" (or as we call parents) who decide this!
I have an amazing mom, who had everything to have a perfect life with perfect kids, like me. But one day she found her future husband. I mean, my dad.
He turned her life upside down, making her quite her current job to try something that would never work. But the fucking fuck thing called love made her go.
Because of this shit, she's a teacher now, which means almost nothing in Brazil, and we don't have the best of the best life.
My dad? I don't wanna talk about him. Each day that goes by he kinda makes me be angrier and sadder with him. Not that I don't love him... maybe not that much as other daughters love their fathers. No, I don't believe I'm this way anymore.
But he says he can't change.
So do I, dad!
I'm waiting for the day it's gonna be my mom, me and my sis without suffering every thing we suffer with you. AND my dog, of course.
Cuz... you made us be this way.
At lease you could see you made a mistake, and now it's freaking hard to come back.
Don't blame us, blame yourself.
I have an amazing mom, who had everything to have a perfect life with perfect kids, like me. But one day she found her future husband. I mean, my dad.
He turned her life upside down, making her quite her current job to try something that would never work. But the fucking fuck thing called love made her go.
Because of this shit, she's a teacher now, which means almost nothing in Brazil, and we don't have the best of the best life.
My dad? I don't wanna talk about him. Each day that goes by he kinda makes me be angrier and sadder with him. Not that I don't love him... maybe not that much as other daughters love their fathers. No, I don't believe I'm this way anymore.
But he says he can't change.
So do I, dad!
I'm waiting for the day it's gonna be my mom, me and my sis without suffering every thing we suffer with you. AND my dog, of course.
Cuz... you made us be this way.
At lease you could see you made a mistake, and now it's freaking hard to come back.
Don't blame us, blame yourself.
16 de fevereiro de 2012
Tired.
You know when you are tired of doing the same shitty thing every day?? I'm this way.
I wanna change.
I wanna go to another place.
I wanna go to another country. Go out of here.
I wanna learn another language.
I wanna be someone else.
I wanna be different from now. New things, new air.
I wanna take all the risks I can.
I wanna fly to the other side of the world.
I wanna be with them, see them, feel them. Just for once.
I'm sure it's not easy.
I'm sure I won't get it.
I'm sure I'll keep on dreaming and never give up.
Will life help me?
Will He help me?
Will I help me? This is the master question of my life.
I wanna change.
I wanna go to another place.
I wanna go to another country. Go out of here.
I wanna learn another language.
I wanna be someone else.
I wanna be different from now. New things, new air.
I wanna take all the risks I can.
I wanna fly to the other side of the world.
I wanna be with them, see them, feel them. Just for once.
I'm sure it's not easy.
I'm sure I won't get it.
I'm sure I'll keep on dreaming and never give up.
Will life help me?
Will He help me?
Will I help me? This is the master question of my life.
12 de fevereiro de 2012
It's never easy.
But we just can't complain about the life we have. If you walk, speak and have everything (almost) in perfect conditions, you are happy.
We have problems, yes we do. But we need to learn how to live with them and do not give up on things so easily.
That's the lesson I need to learn the most. I need to learn how to live without complain so much. And I'll start today.
We have problems, yes we do. But we need to learn how to live with them and do not give up on things so easily.
That's the lesson I need to learn the most. I need to learn how to live without complain so much. And I'll start today.
16 de janeiro de 2012
Today I'm depressed
I can't just think straight right now.
My life sounds kinda messed up
And the only one to blame is me, only me.
I just can't do anything instead of working and studying
While my plans go beyond all of this shit
But I'm stuck.
The feeling of being stuck is not good
Neither for my soul, for my body, for my mind
I'm just walking dead in this delusional world, this world I live in
Will it change one day?
Will I change one day?
I may be wrong, but my answer is no
When did my word become this? I just didn't have time to think
One day I opened my eyes and it was like this
This huge mess
I want so many things
But what I want the most and try to reach every day in this crazy life of mine
Is get out of this shitty place
I wanna live my dreams FOR GOD SAKE
Is that ask too much, God?
I just wanna go around this fucking world and make this miserable life worth it
I'm losing my patience
I'm losing my hopes
I'm losing every single part of my being trying to reach something unreachable.
My life sounds kinda messed up
And the only one to blame is me, only me.
I just can't do anything instead of working and studying
While my plans go beyond all of this shit
But I'm stuck.
The feeling of being stuck is not good
Neither for my soul, for my body, for my mind
I'm just walking dead in this delusional world, this world I live in
Will it change one day?
Will I change one day?
I may be wrong, but my answer is no
When did my word become this? I just didn't have time to think
One day I opened my eyes and it was like this
This huge mess
I want so many things
But what I want the most and try to reach every day in this crazy life of mine
Is get out of this shitty place
I wanna live my dreams FOR GOD SAKE
Is that ask too much, God?
I just wanna go around this fucking world and make this miserable life worth it
I'm losing my patience
I'm losing my hopes
I'm losing every single part of my being trying to reach something unreachable.
14 de janeiro de 2012
2012
Eu disse que ia vir, mas acabei que nem consegui passar aqui esse ano ainda. O que me irrita muito porque era sim pra eu ter escrito alguma coisa aqui dia 01, mas oks! Não me deixarei abalar (ainda mais, hoje está sendo um dia tenso).
Na verdade eu nem sei bem o porque eu to aqui escrevendo isso, sendo que eu ja tenho um post bem mais legal que virá logo em seguida. Acho que isso é meio que uma introdução pros posts de 2012. É. Mesmo que eu não sabia o que escrever aqui, o que na verdade acontece toda vez que eu abro essa pagina em branco. Sempre penso: "ta... e agora o que eu escrevo?". Sempre sai merda.
2012 seja bonzinho comigo, e mesmo com esse meu vicio em k-pop (o que só está me trazendo não muita felicidade) espero que traga todos meus amores pro Brasil, e que me faça ter dinheiro pra poder vê-los. (o que não está acontecendo-o). E que eu seja feliz, e que continue trabalhando (lembra do dinheiro pra ver meus amores?) e que eu tenha saude (pra correr atrás das bandas).
Próximo post será: "Shippers deal: KYUMIN IS REAL"
Na verdade eu nem sei bem o porque eu to aqui escrevendo isso, sendo que eu ja tenho um post bem mais legal que virá logo em seguida. Acho que isso é meio que uma introdução pros posts de 2012. É. Mesmo que eu não sabia o que escrever aqui, o que na verdade acontece toda vez que eu abro essa pagina em branco. Sempre penso: "ta... e agora o que eu escrevo?". Sempre sai merda.
2012 seja bonzinho comigo, e mesmo com esse meu vicio em k-pop (o que só está me trazendo não muita felicidade) espero que traga todos meus amores pro Brasil, e que me faça ter dinheiro pra poder vê-los. (o que não está acontecendo-o). E que eu seja feliz, e que continue trabalhando (lembra do dinheiro pra ver meus amores?) e que eu tenha saude (pra correr atrás das bandas).
Próximo post será: "Shippers deal: KYUMIN IS REAL"
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